4.28.2011 2 comments

Growing Vision - What I Like to Call "Heart-Bursts"

So it's been growing.

This sense that I'm supposed to be here in Gilbert, Arizona, right now, in this city, in this state, in this church...for such a time of great awakening and revival that the city has never seen before!
I believe revival is birthed from a place of prayer...both individual/in-the-secret-place prayer, and corporate prayer. I believe it's birthed out of fasting and living a radical lifestyle of laying down worldly pursuits and going after the Kingdom.

One by one God has been stripping things off of my heart, things that have had their claws dug into me for far too long.  One of those things is arrogance. I never thought I was an arrogant person. But I'm realizing there's deep layers of pride, of ego, that I have so identified as being part of my confident persona, that I haven't realize they were there. It was not until they were offended recently, by unprecedented rejection from a few close people that I had really put my trust in, that I realized the presence of the layers of pride that have been coating my heart.

You know what...it takes a lot of vulnerability and courage to say that. It's a hard thing for me to admit to. Painful even. And now it's out there for the whole world to read. But it needs to be read, it needs to be confessed, and I need to repent from it, and I need to have my mind renewed. May my thoughts and actions and speech and mannerisms really reflect a genuine love for people and for the things of God, for no other reason, for  no other cause, than that I am in love with God my King, and I love the things he loves, and love the people he loves.

So strip it all away, God. Strip away the hurt, the pain, the pride, the rejection, the offense. May I worship you with an unoffended heart.  May my life be one of your favorite movies to put in and watch! If you even do such a thing. ;)

And so - this growing vision, this dream...this bursting going on in my heart...what is it?

Oh, yes, I burn for revival, I burn for transformation, for an awakening of hearts across America and this world, for the raw power of God to invade our lives with his goodness and beauty and lavish love. I want to see people freed of addictions, healed of cancer, healed of AIDS, healed of emotional and sexual abuse....to see lives radically restored, devils cast out, the lame walking, the blind seeing, and every child living free to dream big dreams, and every adult walking in the fullness of their calling and destiny, not believing for a second that youth has passed them by, and that they can't still have that mind-blowing adventure-filled life they have always envisioned. 


But truly, on a more practical level, my heart for my generation is growing. I used to be one very frustrated, legalistic, judgmental teenager. I was so annoyed and angry that people couldn't just LIVE FOR GOD, ALREADY! Now I have so much more compassion, realizing that people's behaviors don't just come out of nowhere - that there is a reason, a belief or value system, that they are holding onto. What they really need is not to curb their behaviors, but rather, they need to experience an identity shift that only comes form encountering the unbridled love of God.

And so, what I really want to see is a whole generation lit for Jesus. And to be honest, in the Scriptures, a generation was pretty much everybody alive. So my heart burns for everyone. Haha.  That's awesome. Love it.  Thank you Jesus for growing my heart, for filling me with compassion, for giving me your eyes to see all the beautiful treasures around me. There are no mere mortals - something C.S. Lewis said that really messes with my mind. THERE ARE NO MERE MORTALS. But more specifically, the age bracket that I feel called to in this season of life is 12 to early 30s.

I know that this is all over the place - it's like one big, excited thing going on inside of me...swirling at a million miles per hour. A tornado of vision and emotion and drive.

I'm asking Jesus - what else do you have for this time in my life? You've taken some things out...now what do you want to replace it with?

Emily and I recently attended an event where we were able meet with other 20 and 30 somethings of the Valley who are professionals and looking for local churches to plug into, or looking for ways to make more friends, meet more people in their stage of life, etc. The music was fantastic and the sermon really got to me with where I'm at in life now.

However, I do believe we need a network of 20-something revivalists - in the vein of seeing the supernatural power of God invade every part of this city and transform a generation. What this event/organization (the one we attended) is doing is incredible, and I support and believe in their work and efforts to unite hundreds and hundreds of 20 and 30 somethings across the city. However, I do think we need a place of prayer, worship, and the prophetic, where we aren't worried about saying something that would offended someone from a different denomination or approach.  My concern is that there is this whole piece of the Christian faith walk (the signs and wonders, and you-will-do-greater-things-than-ME-aka-Jesus stuff) that won't be addressed by the particular organization whose event we attended. We need a place where Burning Ones can get together, get all fired up, and go out and preach a gospel of love, healing, and radical transformation.

So how can we do that, while still supporting what our friends at at this organization for 20-30-something-year-olds is doing?

They said at the this event that they want to see revival. But what does that MEAN? What does that look like? Does that look like living under an open heaven where God moves in the miraculous? Again, don't misunderstand me. I so believe in what they are doing. I love their hearts. I love their passion. I love their hair (yes, the people there have super cool hair...not even kidding). But what about training and equipping and providing fellowship for a generation of miracle-working revivalists?! We need a place where this can happen, too.

Emily and I are praying, brainstorming, writing, reading, looking, getting downloads...

And we are excited. We are so excited to see what is going to happen.

On Sunday we are meeting with a lady named Beverly who goes to our School of Supernatural Ministry on Monday nights. She goes to a different church (which is awesome - I love it that we have people from different churches besides Two Rivers that are attending TRSSM), and has a real heart for prayer and revival amongst youth. She also knows two kids that are Bethel right now, and should be coming back soon, for the summer at least (I don't know if they are doing a second year or not). Anyway, I want to start a network of young revivalists in this city. I don't know WHAT it would look like.  Where and how would we meet? What would we do? How do we make sure the local church is strengthened by us hanging out, not plundered for its on-fire revivalists?

Again - we are thinking and praying and brainstorming. And praying. And praying some more.

Let me know if you have any thoughts on this! Eager to hear any wisdom!
4.16.2011 5 comments

Destiny Jewelry: Creativity & the Prophetic

One of the cool things that a lot of Jesus-lovin' peeps have been doing is making prophetic arts and crafts. Sometimes people draw prophetic paintings during a worship service, other times their creativity is displayed out in the streets, with music and/or dance, and getting "destiny words" for people or  giving them "destiny jewelry". It's fun and interactive and creative.

That's the route we were going for today. Do we know what we're doing? Ha! Not really! It's all part of the journey of learning how Jesus wants to bless people. Here's a look into what we were up to.


Later on I'll upload a report about how it went delivering those pieces of jewelry to God's treasures (people!). :)
4.14.2011 0 comments

Girl Across the World Gets Healed of Tumor!

Please visit my friend Paul's blog post on a girl in Namibia who just had her Tumor Healed !!!

A couple things I loved about this story:

1. It just happened this past week
2. It came out of a word that Paul received and delivered to a friend of his all the way across the world in Namibia, Africa.
3. She was HEALED!  NO TUMOR!
4.13.2011 0 comments

My Youth Kiddies

Tonight was one of those nights that just makes you swell with pride...

Per usual, my youth kids went around praying for each other and encouraging one another in the Lord.

Sadly, there aren't a lot of youth groups like this one.

I really think the Lord wants to change that!

So many focus on creating a really fun environment, with games and food and entertainment of all sorts. But there is nothing as CAPTIVATING as the presence of God, nothing to covet more than the touch of God, nothing to desire more than just to behold His face.

Who says fifteen-year-olds can't handle that?!  Mine can!

They are more bold than I am, by a LONG SHOT.

And so, we minister to one another, seeing emotional and physical healings, falling more in love with God and with our brothers and sisters in the body, and going out re-charged to take this world for Christ.

It's just....

too. much. fun. !!!
4.12.2011 1 comments

Love Zaps From God

After work today, I did a little hop and skip over to the Gilbert Healing Rooms.

I enjoy it so much when my brothers and sisters pray for me. Makes me feel pretty loved, both by God and by them.  Sometimes you just need a little love zap from God.  ZZZZZZZip!

The one specific thing I've been contending for lately - His peace. I've been going through some storms, and fear and anxiety have crept in at times. About 45 minutes prior to the time I was due to get prayed for, this huge cloud of anxiety just FELL on me. I felt my heart drop ...a long, long ways. It was such "crestfallen" feeling that it was borderline despair. I have not felt that in a year's time. I realized right away that I was getting spiritually attacked, and that I needed to fight it off. This was of course happening all right before the time of prayer. So then I walked over to the waiting room, where you sit and soak in God's presence while you wait for your name to be called, and started journaling, asking God to bring peace over my troubled mind and heart.

The nice thing about the Gilbert Healing Rooms is that they pray over your name and get words from God before you even come into the room.

Soon enough they came to get me, stood me under a sign that said "In His Presence", at which point I could tangibly feel this mist of love coming over me (not something that happens to me very often at all, probably about 4 or 5 times a year), and two out of the team of three people that prayed over me had received the word "peace" from the Lord, along with Scriptures to share with me.

None of them knew me from Adam.

So that was just a really sweet time.

Thank you, Jesus for the love zap. :)
4.11.2011 4 comments

VIDEO-LOG: Reading Material On Some of the Great Revivalists

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Songs of Joy

Woke up this morning with dreams on my heart. 

Psalm  126

When the LORD restored the fortunes of ZIon, 
we were like those who dreamed
Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said amoung the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us, 
and we are filled with joy.
4.10.2011 1 comments

Fellow Revivalists

*Deep, delighted, chuckle*

So...I've been finding some friends in this wonderful community called Blogspot, and I am so immensely excited about sharing my journey with all of you.

Here are some things to know about me that wouldn't fit in my profile:

*I am a revivalist because I choose to 1) Believe it, prophesy it, and pray it over myself and 2) I want the Kingdom of God to invade my HEART and this PLANET!

*I'm still learning what revival is.

*I don't have any idea what I'm talking about most of the time, because I'm learning SO much SO quickly that I can hardly take it all in, process it, act on it, etc. I think that makes me a baby revivalist. Mentors and friends are SO invited to speak into my life and encourage me and challenge me. I need it. I want it. Oh man, I just want to grow and learn so badly.

*The Kingdom of God is not one of talk, but of power, and I'm so hungry to see the power of God transform lives and cities and nations.

*My church recently started a school of supernatural ministry, using the materials from Bethel's School of Supernatural Ministry (this was a dream come true!). It's only one night a week, which means it takes us about 8 weeks to get through the material they did in one week!

*Deep in my heart, there is still this desire to actually go do a year or two at BSSM, just because the atmosphere is amazing (I have only been to Bethel once). I know there's other incredible revival schools out there, but this is the one I actually know a couple people at, and I've fallen in love with the whole community. I'm so so blessed to have them in my life, even though they don't even know it!

*I so badly wish I could be around tons of other revivalists my age, but in all honesty, there's only a few around here, so I want to meet more. I'm praying for more revivalists in my area. I also want to be part of the move of God at my church and my city. This is where he has me right now, and I want to be aligned with his heart for this area.

*I recently deactivated my Facebook so that I could concentrate on Jesus. Social media of that sort was getting a little too distracting. I originally meant my FB break to be for a month or so, and now I think it might be for longer. I'm loving this.

*I'm in the craziest spiritual growth spurt of my LIFE. It's been going a year and a half.

*I'm looking for a safe place to dream big, so I'm starting this blog by just getting myself in contact with people that are on board with this sort of thing. Eventually I want to take these thoughts/ideas/feelings/nuggets to the world. For now, this is my place to process what is happening in my heart.

*I really don't like living under the fear of man. I want every little piece of it broken off of my life.

*Jesus is kind of a really big deal to me.

*Any questions? Just ask!

The End.
0 comments

Jesus, Would You Hold My Heart?

Ah, recently my heart has been hurting.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick.

Hope dashed makes the heart even more sick.

But there is such beauty in the pain, such healing under his wings, such protection in his arms.

May my trust in him burn brighter by the day, as I embrace the change of course.

A Proverb that I've quoted over myself in this past year is...

The heart of the king is in the hands of the Lord, and he directs it like a watercourse.

In other words,

if I'm a king and priest forever in the Order of Melchizedek, if I'm a daughter of THE King, and therefore of royal blood....then this verse could be applied like this: Papa God is directing my heart, it's in his hands, and he makes no mistakes in the course he marks out for me.

I CHOOSE TO TRUST. I CHOOSE TO HOPE.

And so, I'm diving in, I'm going deep, in over my head I want to be. Lost in the flood, lost in the flow, in o'er my head I want to go.

Yes, that last line is from the Steven Curtis Chapman years of my life.

*Grin*
4.07.2011 1 comments

My Only Job

Excerpt from my journal:

Jesus, help me recognize the preciousness of these years, and how you want to connect and commune with me - no agenda, just love. 

No talking points or Power Point slides or deadlines.

Just love.

Just abandoned, lovesick communion with your Spirit.



May my only goal be to know and love you.

That right there is the answer.

It's so simple.




4.04.2011 0 comments

Actually Loving God

"I want to be a woman who lives totally abandoned to the first commandment. To love my Lord, my God, with all my heart. I don’t want the reputation that I love God, I don’t want to write songs about loving God, I don’t want to talk about loving God. I want to actually love God. When I close my eyes, I want my heart to move. When I close my eyes and I look at Him, I want to feel alive on the inside. I want to look at Him with a fire in my heart and it’s real.”

- Misty Edwards
4.03.2011 1 comments

Born for Revival

Revivalist: (n) a believer who is focused and passionate, willing to pay any price to live in purity and power because they are loved by God and love Him - whose manifest presence transforms lives and cultures.

-Student Manual, Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry
 
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